Hold Space, Not Opinions
Educational reminders that support ≠ advice: Discussing abortion as a family can be challenging and scary. Oftentimes, these conversations are shut down or avoided, leading to misunderstandings.
Objective: Equip people with tools to:
Stay grounded when conversations may feel uncomfortable or conflicting.
Support someone’s autonomy without projecting personal feelings or beliefs.
Knowing the difference between support, education, and advice-giving.
1. Support ≠ advice
Listening compassionately does not mean agreeing or condemning someone’s actions. It means being able to validate a person’s perspective and experience while refraining from judgment, and the willingness to be present
Being present also means withholding all assumptions about their pregnancy news
Example Phrases:
“I’m here for you, not to tell you what to do.”
“What are you most worried about?”
“How are you feeling about this?”
2. Your Role is to Hold, Not Steer
You may have heard of the phrase “Holding Space”, but what does that mean? It means being able to be present and provide care for your loved one without imposing your opinion.
In our culture, we sometimes prioritize what our family members may think. Still, it is essential to remember that respect also means to honor that each person is in charge of their bodies and decisions.
Reinforce that this is their choice; you may be asked for advice or your opinion, but it is crucial to express trust in their decision-making abilities. “You’ve made good decisions before; I don’t doubt you will make the best one for yourself.
Remember, you're not here to win an argument but here to demonstrate to someone that they are loved.
Example Phrases:
Although our beliefs may be different, I respect that you can make the best decision for yourself.”
“What are the pros and cons you’re contemplating?”
“Do you have any mixed emotions that could be confusing you?”
3. Offer to help research the resources that are available to them.
If your friend or loved one is worried about the potential laws that could influence their access to getting an abortion, please visit Planned Parenthood’s state-by-state map for individual state laws. If they need to find an abortion provider, please use Abortion Finder or the National Abortion Federation to help find reputable clinics. If they need potential financial aid to help with the procedure or travel expenses and live in PNW, please visit the Northwest Abortion Access Fund.
Holding space is an act of love, choosing to walk alongside someone without taking the lead, honoring their story as their own. By staying present and listening with compassion, you can help create space when they feel seen and supported. In moments that are vulnerable and deeply personal, your role is not to have all the answers, but to be an active presence.
